Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just pee around me
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
