College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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