that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
