he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Randomize
