i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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