The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
