I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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