Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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