I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize