A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
