you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Randomize
