True but thats because hes a fetus.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
