Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize