when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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