i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
