I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize