Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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