You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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