apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
