I feel like abortions should bother me more
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
