Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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