New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
