My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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