haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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