You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
