so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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