Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
