Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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