Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?