Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that