you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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