she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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