GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
There r osticjed everywhere
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.