Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
