I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
