I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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