cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
