Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
