clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
