Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
