You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
