Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
thus making me awesome and them whores
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I feel like abortions should bother me more
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
