Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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