Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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