this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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