Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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