There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
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