We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
