if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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