drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize