ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
nut hugger
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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