My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm at about main and main street
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
