it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize