if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
