I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
