3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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