What a fucking waste of an outfit
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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