windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
