sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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