so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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