I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
