Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
did i walk over a car last night?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
