why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
