Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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